The hidden dark truth about being a mum

OK.. SO.

About to get really personal & deep here…

Being a mum is bloody HARD.

I struggle every single day.  Its a 24/7 job. its demanding and you need to step up. Theres a human who is fully dependent on you.

I think social media hasn’t helped new mums at all. You see other peoples lives and babies and think omg why isn’t mine like that?! You can’t help but look at other babies the same age as yours and notice they’re doing something that your baby isn’t…. So instantly you panic and think OMG is my baby behind?! Why aren’t they doing that?! Am i a bad mum?! What more can i do?!

And the reality is……. EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT. If you think about it, your baby is always going to get there…. you dont see any adults who can’t roll over or walk..  Im so sick of people catergorsing all babies as one. All our babies are SOO different, they develop different. Your baby may roll over quick but may take ages to walk and a different baby may be opposite they may take sooooo long to roll over and crawl but then they could miss it out and get straight on their feet!!!! Now ive learnt to just take each day as it comes, Nate will get up and walk when he’s ready too! Im not going to push it and push him! Whats the point…. I want to enjoy him everyday & not get stressed about his development.  He is going to get there……. Also I’m not saying Nates a slow learner at all, he has smashed weaning already much quicker than i ever imagined and he slept though the night at 10 weeks old but he’s just not as quick in other areas. He’s not close to fully rolling over yet and thats fine! But ive learnt to stop looking at other babies and comparing Nate to them! He’s so individual and special and I’m so proud of him!!! Im going to celebrate his accomplishments when he does them in his own time!!! Also I post them so I can tell other parents what’s worked for him and what may work for their babies!!

Also, guidelines online are just that – GUIDELINES! Every baby is different… and Nate personally… he was SOOO ready to be weaned. He had all the signs & he absolutely loves it! I couldnt even imagine waiting another 2 months until he’s 6 months. that wouldn’t be fair on him. All mums know their babies and know when they’re ready. So i take the health visitors advice etc… But take it with a pinch of salt and if i do things differently then thats fine.  Do things the way you wanna do things! and if its different from someone you know then who cares! different babies! They’re all gonna eventually learn to eat and walk etc.  My mum said she weaned me at 10 weeks because that was the norm back then.. and i turned out alright LOL no allergies etc. it always changes, so just do what you wanna do and whats best for your baby! Follow your baby, because most of the time they’ll let you know they’re not ready etc. (i know they can’t talk lol but they’re signs that a baby isn’t ready to be weaned)

Honestly i probably cry every other day. Just yesterday it got to much and i stormed out the house (my mum was in) and jak had to follow me down the road and calm me down! A baby screaming grates on you, especially because they can’t talk so they can’t tell you whats wrong! And it is so so so so so so normal! Being a mum is hard work and you always have good & bad days! Sometimes i feel bad for losing it and it being too much but then I remember.. 98% of mums are exactly the same. People just dont post about it. You aren’t going to see a story saying ” lol just locked myself in the toilet crying my eyes out” or ” babies being a demon today, someone come and take over” You only see the good stuff, and i get it! You want to celebrate your baby. but it also puts pressure on new mums because they dont see the bad days so they think them having a bad day is being a bad mum! But thats not the case in the slightest!  I think motherhood is about winging it!!!! Ive learnt to not be afraid to ask for help, we all need a bit of help sometimes! I’m so grateful for Jak & my mum as when they get home one of them takes nate for an hour. And thats amazing as I just need that hour to recuperate & chill! As it is hard doing it on your own all day!!

Anyway! I thought this was important to blog about! Because i got a few messages saying about how amazing Nates doing and asking for advice etc… And i just wanted to let you all know that it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies! I struggle too! This is partly why I’m starting the mum/baby group Modern Mamas. So it gives mums a chance to chat about everything and baby stuff!!! an outlet to rant etc & also an outlet for socialise babies & they can play together etc!!!! I think its so important to not isolate yourselves and meet new mums! And i find some baby groups is a judgmental zone… i always feel on edge and worried about what other mums think… So i wanted to create a group which is a free non judgmental zone & people can genuinely come and talk about their strggles and baby worries etc! And also for the babies! anyway   I love baby chat & advice… So feel free to message me 🙂

But look at that face …… makes it all worth it 💙💙

Lots of love,

Daisy Jane x

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