If I’m being perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure if I was going to do a post. I like to be open and honest and raise awareness all year around and not restricted to just one day. However, that being said, last night in my pregnancy insomnia, I had a huge think. About social media. How social media affects our mental health every single day.
Since when has social media turned so toxic? Ad after Ad. The beauty of social media was being connected globally, I enjoy it to share pictures of my son to family members across the world who miss out on seeing him. This is literally so amazing, how you can see constant updates but not need to constantly phone for them. You still feel part of their growing up, it really is amazing. I’m all for social media in that perspective.
Instagram.. Love it or Loathe it, we are all on it. The average person must genuinely spend in total hours scrolling the newsfeed. What are we looking for? Pictures and peoples life style to make us feel crap? People really do only share the good on there and its so easy to forget this. You see this facetuned, filtered smiley people and assume this is their life 24/7. But little do you know, that same person has lost a family member that week or stuck in a violent relationship. You can never know what truly is going on in someones life. You also don’t see the hour spent of them trying to get the perfect picture. Is being connected to the world 24/7 actually good for our mental health though? Imagine a world where social media was switched off like shops at 8pm. Imagine how happier we would all be, the conversations with loved ones we’d have!!!
About a year ago, I was quite invested in instagram, I was trying to grow my blog and Instagram and got transfixed on content and followers etc. It can become a very toxic place, I became friends with a lot of mummy bloggers. All everyone cares about is followers, some girls have actual apps which tell them who has unfollowed them. I tried it, but it honestly got me down too much, I would take it personally when someone I knew unfollowed. In reality, who actually cares?!?! Trolls, relatively old term but they’re taken shape in new forms nowadays. They used to be fake accounts telling you to die etc. Trolls have literally transformed into your average Susan in Asda. Women who are mothers, are literally using Internet forums to slag people off. I can’t get my head around this. If someone has pissed you off, go home, rant to your partner then get on with your life. I could never imagine taking time to say ill things of someone online. Why, just because someone shares their life that they should expect this kind of abuse? It absolutely does not warrant any abuse. People need to change their mindset ” Oh but you share everything on instagram so you have to expect people to have opinions” Opinions, absolutely yes. Hate campaigns online? Absolutely not. I have been subject to this a few months ago, and it really does effect you. My anxiety got so bad, I couldn’t leave the house for a few days. But in reality, Why did I Care what people I don’t know and literally know nothing about me have to say? They only know about me what I choose to share… Once you stop caring then, you become happier. Another thing is.. Mum police. Just because I share mum life on instagram, doesn’t mean you get to comment on my parenting or anything that I do. I couldn’t even imagine popping up to someone to tell them something negative. Just yesterday, I put up a post for a friend about what to get her toddler when her newborn arrives. I personally think it was a lovely idea and Il be doing it for Nate. I had hundreds of comments saying big brother or big sister box. One person said Isn’t a sibling enough?! I didn’t like this negativity so I spoke to her further about it and she basically said spoilt kid syndrome comes from parenting and I do what I want etc. EH??? Implying I’m spoiling my child. I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating milestones or a new life change for my toddler. What is wrong with getting them a big sister or big brother book? I personally, just wouldn’t have it in me to ever comment on someones parenting like this or answer a poll or question negatively. Everyones parenting is different and there is no right or wrong manual. If anything, there are GUIDELINES. But each parent knows their child and knows what is bed. I just don’t understand why people thinks its okay to mum police people. As if parenting isn’t hard enough. I wasn’t asking for peoples opinions on it, just literally wanted to see what others had bought their toddlers. I don’t want to come onto Instagram and face mum police comments. I want to use Instagram, to connect with other people and have positive conversations. I love nothing more than getting in a real good convo with someone I don’t know, them offering advice etc. This is the part of instagram I love.
I think people just need to be more mindful of peoples feelings on the internet. You never know, that person may be having an extremely low day and your one comment however small it may be, may push them over the edge. What annoys me is, when a suicide happens everyone comes out saying ” I wish they told me” I wish they opened up about their struggles” We should be focusing on prevention. Stop the hate comments. Don’t drive someone to feeling so so low.
I’ve now completely removed myself from the toxic side, Instagram to me is just a hobby. I enjoy catching up with peoples lives and following a little bit of Inspo never hurt anyone. I use it to motivate myself. I also absolutely love connecting with people. Hearing peoples experiences and advice. This is my favourite part. When I came out about my struggles and hard time in my life, I can’t even explain the hundreds and hundreds of dms of people who have gone through similar. It really became a support system, it is such a shame a few have to spoil that. I really am so much happier, I take pictures in the moment, I really really don’t care who follows me or my following count. I’m blogging because writing is genuinely my passion. And if people like it then- bonus!!! Absolutely not going to stop posting because of a few individuals. The amazing dms really do outweigh the bad. For every 100 dm I get, I get 1 bad one! Gonna keep doing what I’m doing!
LETS ALL BE NICE AND DO BETTER.
Lots of love,
Daisy Carberry x
Picture from a year ago.